teach me how to dial

I'm too old for new media. I stumble around SL like a zombie. I now know that it isn't my fault. It's just my lack of education. In the 1930s they TAUGHT people how to use the phone using a giant sized model..take a look at this cool pic and post at http://www.boingboing.net/2008/04/09/fourfoot-phone-dial.html So maybe what I need is a giant-sized second life avatar that will teach me how to be a cool networker. All those video tutorials that take hours to download just don't do the trick. I need a honest-to-goodness, certificate-giving, fee-charging Secretary of New Media School.